Even when things are hard.
A few weeks ago, I compared my boss to my 2 year old.
To his face 😳
⬆️ Now tell me honestly, what did you think when you read that?
Did you think
"Wow you must have a great relationship with your boss!"
Or
"Oh my goodness that must have been so awkward! I'm cringing for you!".
All I gave you was a very short description of something that happened and you immediately made an assumption about me, my boss or the situation.
And you do this all day, every day, whenever you come into contact with anything.
It rains and you think "ahh I hate rain!", while someone else thinks "I LOVE the sound of rain!".
You're running 2 minutes late to a friend's house and you think "she's going to think I don't care, this is so awful!" while your friend doesn't even notice.
You're trying to choose a present for your sister's birthday and all you can think is "it needs to be perfect to show her how much she means to me" and yet you could get her a bag of coal and she'd still think the world of you.
In the words of psychologist Martin Seligman, it's not events in our lives that create feelings - it's our beliefs about those events.
And if you don't know this, and you try and "focus on the present moment" all the time, even when things are hard, you'll end up in a pickle at some point.
See living mindfully isn't just about being in the present moment.
Mindful living is about being in the present moment
WITHOUT ALL THESE PRE-CONCEIVED JUDGEMENTS AND BELIEFS.
And I don't see other coaches talking about this.
It was this that transformed my practice from "mindfulness helps sometimes and makes it worse sometimes because I'm now hyper-aware of this thing happening that's upsetting me" to MIND BLOWN I can deal with anything*.
*in theory. I'm not perfect.
I want you to think about this for a moment.
Think about everything in your life that's unpleasant, that you find hard, that you wish wasn't that way.
Then ask yourself HONESTLY, would everyone
in the world think the same way about it?
Or would some people enjoy it? Would some people think it was fun? Would some people simply not mind it that much?
Because if so, it's your belief about the event that's making it unpleasant, not the event itself.
Tell me, has this blown your mind like it does mine?!
0%THIS IS SO HELPFUL!
0%Not sure I totally get it, think I need more info...
When you live mindfully, you notice every time it's a belief that's stopping you enjoying something.
And once you notice the belief, you can change it.
And then you can learn to enjoy (almost) anything.
But there's a catch.
Even when you understand this concept, it can be hard to notice your beliefs.
Your beliefs have been part of you your whole life - you often think they're fact.
When you have me in your pocket for 12 whole weeks (via WhatsApp of course), I help you notice the beliefs that are holding you back.
My clients regularly say I understand their own brains better than they do 💁♀️
And with this, we train your brain to let go of the beliefs that aren't serving you.
So events that used to automatically be stressful, boring or irritating, can become a challenge, relaxing or interesting.
And how much more enjoyable would life be then?
It can be hard to believe that you can enjoy more of life without changing anything except the way you think.
And that's why I offer a money-back guarantee on my coaching, if I think you're the right fit.
This is a BIG one folks, so take some to think about this! Then send me an email or drop a note in the comments if you have any questions 🥰
Sending lots of love x
PS. Wondering what actually happened with my boss?
After he apologised at the end of a meeting for "going on lots of tangents", I replied "it was less tangents than my 2 year old!"...
Then I panicked.
Thought "sh$t what if he didn't realise that was a joke? Have I offended him?".
Old Me would have worried about that aaaaaaall day.
Mindful Me rememebered that whether he took offence or not, very much depended on what beliefs he applied to the comment.
I calmly followed up with "that was a joke, I'm sorry, I hope it wasn't offensive", to which he laughed.
No problem at all, everything was fine 😆
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