I've been reading my old journals from when I had burnout and MAN it is enlightening.
I was keeping a gratitude journal and every day I made myself write down why life was good.
Even the week before I resigned, I was writing "grateful for my lovely colleagues" and "proud of a big surgery I did today".
In reality, I was dreading work every day, felt permanently inadequate and was filling every ounce of my freetime with yoga classes and dinner with friends in an attempt to distract myself (while rendering me exhausted).
That gratitude journal was me desperately trying to paper happiness on top of the stress, overwhelm and loneliness I felt.
I thought I could put on a happy face, like you put on an outfit, and everything would be ok.
That I just needed to "be more positive".
But I wasn't looking at was going on underneath.
When something clicked and I resigned (that something being me yelling at my mum when, after a funeral, she asked me if I was OK to go to work the next day), it made me acknowledge how unhappy I was.
And I realised how the gratitude journal and "positive thinking" had been masking how I was really feeling.I've grown a lot since then.
And I'll be honest, I wasn't sure why I wanted to share this with you all - I just found myself writing this all out in a post to you.
But I think it's because I want you to know there is another way.
You don't have to paste positivity on top of crap and just keep going.
It won't all fall apart if you stop pretending to be positive.
And in fact, it's only by acknowledging our challenges that we can work out how to tackle them.
Just like you can't clean dirt if you keep putting a pretty photo frame on top 😉 you've got to see it, to deal with it 🙏
I feel like I could keep writing all day but I'm going to leave that there.
I hope it helps.
Sending you lots of love,
Lucy
Xx
P.S. I only have two spots left for one-to-one coaching this year 🤯
If you want support in GENUINELY enjoying more of life, rather than just saying it's great, I'd love to work with you.
Book a free call to chat, and if I think I can help, I'll offer you my money-back guarantee.
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