I used to think I was a confident person.
I had no doubts that I’d get a good job as a veterinary surgeon (which I did).
I was happy to go to a party where I didn’t know many people and find someone to talk to and have fun.
I didn’t get overly embarrassed about public speaking and felt like I was pretty good at it.
But I didn’t realise how many ways I wasn’t confident, how many ways I didn’t trust myself.
So many of you loved the last post I did like this on happiness, so I’ve created a list of 5 signs you don’t trust yourself.
Take a look - I’d love to know if you resonate with any.
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1. You’re a total perfectionist
You spend 20 minutes faffing with the formatting of an email to make sure it looks professional because deep down you’re worried what people think of you. You’re trying to control some external factors because you don’t believe, or trust, that you’re good enough on your own.
2. You’re always thinking
When you have a spare 2 minutes while waiting for the microwave, your mind runs your to-do list over and over in your mind (even though it’s all written down in a list in your phone anyway), to make doubly sure you don’t miss anything important like Auntie Margaret’s birthday card.
3. You plan everything
A friend’s coming to visit and you want to know the exact time their train gets in, so you can think about where to go for lunch (the nice tapas place is a bit too far to walk if it’s the 13.33 train). You know you could decide on the day but whenever you’ve tried that in the past, it’s never as nice as it could be and so you don’t trust yourself to do that again.
4. You never feel good enough
Even when you overhear your client telling the receptionist that she LOVED you and “what was her name again dear? I’d like to see her again”, you don’t believe you’re good at your job. It was an easy appointment that anyone could have done as well as you. You don’t believe she’ll feel like that next time.
5. You feel overwhelmed
There’s just so much to think about. You can’t see where you could drop your standards anywhere, and you don’t trust yourself to think less or plan less, because you already think you’re not good enough, so you’re in a horrible vicious cycle.
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Now, when I feel myself experiencing any of these signs, it's a sign I need to be more mindful.
I have strategies, the same ones I teach my clients, to get out of a funk and start trusting myself again EVEN if it feels hard (which it often does btw).
And it's this, that means I'm comfortable growing even when I'm out of my comfort zone and that I really feel like I'm the best version of me - I know I'm not holding back on my potential (most of the time anyway - I'm only human!). If you're interested in learning more about how I can support you to feel more confident, I'm running a free masterclass on believing you're good enough EVEN when you're new at something. If you're not already on my mailing list, send me an email and I'll make sure you get the details x
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